Allan and Barbara Pease are the internationally renowned experts in human relations and body language, whose 20 million book sales world- wide have turned. PDF Drive is your search engine for PDF files. As of today we have 78,, eBooks for you to download for free. No annoying ads, no download limits, enjoy . The definitive book of body language. Home · The The Body Language of Liars . Read more When Body Language Goes Bad: A Dilbert Book · Read more.
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When I first heard about 'body language' at a seminar in , I became so excited This book is by no means the last word on body language, nor does it. That's why studying body language has such a long history. That's because, the Peases write in "The Definitive Book of Body Language," an open palm has. Included are how-to sections on proper speaking posture, gestures, body .. At the same time, don't get gestures out of a book or from another speaker.
Read also: 4 ways men touch women wrong. Cultural Differences I fully agree with Barbara and Allan Pease when they say the world is becoming more and more similar and the basics are the same almost everywhere. Pictures of happiness, anger, fear, sadness, disgust and surprise in 21 different cultures registered mostly the same responses everywhere. Japan was the exception which described fear as surprise. The biggest cultural differences exist mainly in relation to territorial space, eye contact, touch frequency and insult gestures.
The regions with the most local signals are Arab countries, parts of Asia and Japan. Pease says that we do business with people who make as feel comfortable and it comes down to sincerity and good manners. Hand and Thumb Gestures How to Spot Which Option We Prefer Right-handed people give their favorite point of view or summarize their favorite contestant with their right hand and left handed people with their left.
Rubbing Palms Rubbing the palms together is a sign of positive expectation. A quick rub signals the person expects the benefits to be for you, Slow rubbing signals the expectation is for them to profit.
Sales people are instructed to rub hands quickly indeed. Hands Clenched Together Barbara and Allan Pease say Hands Clenched Together can be mistaken for a signal confidence as people are often seeing smiling when using it. It is though a gesture showing anxious, restrained or negative attitude.
During negotiation it can be frustration gesture signaling a negative or anxious attitude. The person using feels they are either not convincing the other person or felt like they were losing the negotiation. The hands can be held in front of the face, on a desk on the lap or low in front of the crotch. There seem to be a correlation between height and frustration: the higher the hands clenched position, the higher the degree of frustration.
As for arms crossed then, you should take action to let the person un-clench his hands.
A favorite of Angela Merkel, The steeple is frequently used in interactions between superior and subordinates and it shows a confident, self assured personality. The steeple is usually held high when speaking and held lower when listening. Women tend to use the lower steeple more often.
The definitive book of body language
The raised steeple with the head tilted back gives more arrogant and smug air. The steeple can also be a sign of negative confidence. If you are delivering a presentation or a sale and the client was folding arms, crossing legs, looking away and having many hand to face gestures and then he assumes a steeple your prospect is feeling confident he will say and that he will easily get rid of you.
The Face Platter Resting the face on both hands can be a gesture used by women during romantic encounters or dates. She is placing her face there for you to admire it and to attract your attention.
If you are interested in more sex signals, take a look at Undercover Sex Signals. High military, headmasters at school, royalty and policemen will usually use it. The person is fully exposing his body in a show of fearlessness. Cause and effect also applies, so if you use this pose in high stress situations you will also begin to feel confident and even authoritative. If however the person is holding his wrist behind his back it communication frustration and an attempt to self restrain, and the higher up is the grip, the higher is the frustration.
Thumb Displays Barbara and Allan Pease say that thumbs denote superiority, and body language gestures using the thumb show self important attitudes. Thumbs indeed are used to display dominance, assertiveness and sometimes even aggressive attitude.
You will rarely see low status individuals using it. Thumbs coming out of back pockets are a bit of a tamer pose, as if the person was trying to hide the dominant attitude. Pointing at someone with the thumb is usually a gesture of ridicule and disrespect towards the person you point your thumb at.
None of the subordinate is likely to do it around the boss. You can sometimes see people with the hands in their pockets and thumbs sticking out but their arms folded. The folded arms is defensive or negative, while the thumbs out show a superior attitude. Evaluation and Deceit Signals I love when Barbara and Allan Pease say that lying is the oil greasing social interactions.
Research shows that social liars are more popular than people who continually tell the truth even though we know the social liar is not being fully forthcoming. Malicious lies, of course, are a different beast. Women are Better Liars Allan and Barbara Pease say women are better at reading emotions and even better at telling lies. Lying is easier behind something that will cover part or all of your body. Behind a desk for example, peering over a fence, from behind a door or, of course, via telephone or email.
Note: Allan and Baraba Pease here seem quite encouraging about the fact you can spot lies. This is in contrast to FBI agent Joe Navarro who takes a strong stand in saying spotting lies is notoriously difficult and unreliable. These are some indicators of lies: Mouth Cover, or anything similar, could be a fake cough. Nose Touch can such an indicator and people tend to smile less when lying.
The itching can actually be real Eye Rub. But since most people are aware of that, they will swing in the other direction keeping eye contact more than they normally would -and get rarely caught- Foot Movement Boredom Supporting the hand with your hands is a sign of boredom.
If they want to feign interest but are starting to the bored the palm will start supporting the head. The index can rub or pull the eye if the negative thoughts persist. It can be mistaken for interest, but the difference is the supporting thumb under the chin. Decision Making Chin stroking is a sign that a person is thinking about what to say or what to decide. Stalling Clusters People wearing glasses can take them off and put one arm of the frame in their mouth, a smoker will take a puff of smoke and someone with a pen can put the in their mouth.
Putting objects in the mouth is a sign that the person feels like he needs more time and wants to delay an answer. Head Rubbing and Slapping When someone forgot something or did a blunder they might slap their own head to communicate forgetfulness.
If they slap their forehead they signal they are not intimidated by you, if they slap the back of the neck it says you are actually a pain in the neck. Habitually rubbing the back of the neck says that someone tends to be more negative or critical, while those rubbing the forehead tend to be more open and easygoing. Eye Signals Barbara and Allan Pease say that women have a wider peripheral vision, men tend to have more tunnel vision.
Women can look at you better without moving their eyes.
Pupils Dilated pupils are a sign of attraction. This is why lighter eyes are considered more attractive: because you can more clearly recognize a dilated pupil and this is why romantic encounters tend to be more successful in dimly lit places: the pupil dilates naturally. Interestingly, people are better at decoding eye signals than they are at decoding body language. Women are good at deciphering it, men not as much.
Eyebrow Flash The Definitive Book of Body Language says that the eyebrow flash is the eyebrow raising rapidly for a split second. Eyebrow Signals Lowing the eyebrows shows dominance or aggression and raising the eyebrows shows submission. Looking Up Barbara and Allan Pease say that lowering the head and looking up is a submissive gesture women use to appeal to men.
It makes the eyes seem larger and makes the woman more childlike. Pease says that Diana made an art out of lowering her head and looking up while exposing her neck. Some women show sexual submissiveness by lowering the eyelids while simultaneously raising the eyebrows and looking up. This is also the expression that many women have during an orgasm. When one likes the other, he will look at him a lot. The person being looked at notices and he will likely like him in return as well.
The Hidden Meaning Behind People’s Gestures and Expressions
This means you should look at people a lot to make them like you. When in foreign cultures though the best course of action is to mirror the gaze time of your host. The timid people who rarely meet our gaze are seen as untrustworthy. When two people meet and make eye contact the subordinate is usually the one to look away first. This means that not looking away is a subtle way of delivering a challenge or showing disagreement.
Darting Eyes Barbara and Allan Pease say that when our eyes scan the surrounding from left to right we are looking for escape routes. Intimate gaze is used to show interest and those who are interested will return this gaze. Intimate gaze too soon though would give the game away men miss it anyway but women get it Power Gaze: is looking between the eyes and the center of the forehead. Never use it in friendly or romantic encounters, just on those whom you want to intimidate or quiet down Power Stare: when you are under attack, maintain eye contact without blinking, narrow your eyelids and focus closely on him.
Shake hands then and give the interview a seconds time window to scan you. This strategy also helped selling better. The distances tend to reduce between two women and increase between two men. When people embrace the distance they keep their hips apart gives away information about their relationship.
I also found particularly interesting that Pease says that the people who go around slapping everyone on the back is secretly disliked by everyone. When the police breaks up the crow the dynamics changes and the riot usually stops. And, the author says, this is why ares with the highest crime and violence are also areas with the highest population density.
Spacing Rituals The authors say that when deciding where to seat people will usually pick the place that gives them the most space.
Cultural Differences Barbara and Allan Pease tell the story of an Italian couple in Sidney being accused of hitting on everyone at a club they joined because the Italians, coming from a smaller personal space culture, were standing too close for the Australians. Japanese also tend to stand rather close.
City dwellers also tend to have smaller spaces than country people. Territory and Ownership The Definitive Book of Body Language goes into a topic I have long observed before it became conscious: people can feel like a certain seat or space belongs to them in a place they often visit. Or they might feel ownership of the kitchen in a house if they are using it.
How the Legs Reveal the Mind The Definitive Book of Body Language says that the farther away a body part is from our mind, the less awareness we have of it. Walking Styles Young and healthy people walk faster, resulting in arms swinging the most, almost if they were marching. This walking style has been adopted by politicians and public figures who want to look younger and healthy. Influential people commanding attention walk briskly at a medium pace with medium length strides.
As a rule of thumb, open or uncrossed legs show an open or dominant attitude and crossed positions reveal closed attitudes or uncertainty Standing Positions At Attention: standing with your feet close together is a formal and neutral position showing no signs of of commitments towards any particular course of action.
With men and women interacting women use it mostly, and employees use it with bosses Legs Apart: predominantly a male position and the equivalent of a crotch display Foot Forward: the foot forward points in the direction our mind wants to go.
In groups we point our forward foot to the person we find most interesting or attractive Leg Cross: the standing leg cross and scissors show that someone wants to stay, but has a closed, submissive or defensive attitude. First the legs uncross, next are the arms. We can start with one arm only and flashing the palm. Then both arms uncross. Finally, one person takes the foot forward position to show acceptance of the other. American Figure Four Sitting with one leg horizontally on top of the other is the seated version a Crotch Display.
Men sitting this way are perceived as more dominant, relaxed and even youthful. Figure Four Leg Clamp Same as figure four, with the leg on top being held by the hands. It can also show uncertainty and fear.
The feet are usually withdrawn under the chair, showing that the person also has a withdrawn attitude. When people are involved in a conversation, they also put their feet into the conversation. During negotiations it means the party is holding back on a concession. If the ankle lock happens during an interview, questions can be reasonably effecting in getting the interviewee to relax and unlock but going around the table and sitting beside them is probably most effective.
Parallel Legs Parallel Legs is the most attractive seating position for a woman. Legs for Women Men will watch TV shows with female presenter for longer if she has a short dress.
However, men will also remember less of what she said. Head Nod Barbara and Allan Pease say that nodding regularly in groups of three nods leads to people talking for three to four times longer than they would have normally spoken. The authors say that people will talk three to four times more than usual when the listener nods their head using groups of three nods at regular intervals. The speed of the nod signals the patience—or lack of patience—of the listener.
Slow nodding communicates that the listener is interested in what the speaker is saying so give slow, deliberate clusters of three head nods when the other person is making a point. Head Nods to Get More Information A technique to get people to talk more and give you more information is to nod your head during his answer. After he replies, you keep nodding your head another five times with one nod per second. Pease says that by the time you counted to 4, he will usually resume speaking and give you more information.
Chin Forward: When the head is lifted high and the chin pushed out and high it signals superiority, fearlessness or arrogance. Women will use it to show interest in men they like Head Down: a chin down signals a negative, judgmental or aggressive attitude.
Lint Picking Looking away while picking imaginary lint is a sign of disapproval. Hands on Hips The Definitive Book of Body Language says that placing the hands on the hips and pointing the elbows out shows readiness to dominate.
One hand on the hip is similar, especially if the elbow is pointed towards the person we are issuing the challenge to. Men use it around women to display an assertive male attitude. Men use this gesture to stake their territory or to show other men they mean business.
If it is used while talking to women, especially with dilated pupils and a foot pointing towards her, it immediately gives the game away as to what are his intentions. Leg Over Arm Chair Mostly a man gesture as it also uses the legs spread. It communicates ownership and signals an informal and aggressive attitude.
If someone is having a serious discussion, it also communicate superiority and indifference. Straddling a Chair Barbara and Allan Pease say that the person straddling a chair wants to dominate the crotch display while at the same time using the back of the chair for protection.
Straddlers tend to be dominant types who will try to take control of others when they get bored with the conversation. The heads are behind the head with the elbows pointing outward. It gives an air of superiority, like the person knows it all.
Legs are usually in a Figure Four or Crotch Display. Show of Readiness Barbara and Allan Pease say that leaning forward with one hand on the knee, or both hands on the knees as it were the start of a race, signals that a person has reached a decision.
If it comes after decision making clusters chin stroking then the decision can often be positive. It also signal the desire to end the meeting and move out. Basically mirroring says, nonverbally, that you two are similar and share the same attitudes. When people refer to having a good vibe or that it feels right they are unknowingly referring to mirroring and synchronous behavior.
Usually the person with the highest status makes the first move and the others copy. Men VS Women Mirroring Barbara and Allan Pease say that women are four times more likely to mirror another woman than a man to mirror another man.
Men feel awkward at the idea of using facial feedback while listening as it makes them feel effeminate. Women judge men who use facial feedback as caring, intelligent, interesting and attractive. Pease suggests never to speak quicker than the other person as that makes them feel pressured.
Do not mirror their negative signals though in order to create rapport. Subordinate — Boss Mirroring Barbara and Allan Pease say that when the leader adopts a pose, the subordinates will usually copy, often in ranking order. Leaders also tend to be the first of a group to walk through a doorway and like to sit at the end of a sofa rather than in the middle.
In a conference room, the boss usually sits at the head of the table, often farthest away from the door. In a boardroom, people who will mirror your position are also the most likely to vote for you. Smoking then is one of the many displacement activities people use while non smokers chew gums, bite their nails, groom, tap their foot, scratch their heads or play with something. Blowing Smoke Blowing the smoke of a cigarette up is a positive sign.
Conversely blowing down is a sign the smoker is in a negative, secretive or suspicious frame of mind. Blowing down from the corner of the mouth further reinforces the negative sign. Speed of Blowing Smoke The speed at which the smoke is blown is an indicator of the intensity of the feelings.
You can then change course terminate it earlier so it seems it was your decision. Glasses The Definitive Book of Body Language quotes Desmond Morris when he noted that putting objects against the lips or the mouth is an attempt to relive the security a baby had when he was breastfeeding.
A person wearing glasses putting the arm of the frame in or near the mouth is looking for reassurance. Big frame glasses project power while frameless or thin frame glasses convey a powerless image and say you are more interested in fashion than in business and the opposite is true in social situation. Peering Over Glasses Barbara and Allan Pease say that looking at people over the rim of the glasses gives a sensation they are being judged.
The person on the receiving end may respond to it by crossing their arms. Sunglasses on the Head Dark sunglasses during meetings make you appear secretive and even insecure. Glasses and Makeup Makeup adds credibility for women in business, as confirmed by a small experiment Pease conducted himself. The combo of makeup and glasses was even more powerful.
Lipsticks Barbara and Allan Pease say that wearing bright color lipsticks for interviews made women appear as if they were more interested in themselves than in business and career. Women without lipsticks were seen as more serious about work than men, but they were also seen as more lacking in personal skills.
Slimmer briefcases say the person is only concerned with the bottom line and has more status. Body Angles Open Positions Standing straight and facing someone head on is perceived as aggressive. To avoid taking an aggressive stand we must stand at 45 degrees angles so that together with our speaking partner we form a 90 degrees angle. This position invites other to join the conversation.
Pointing the body away from the listener is seen as confident but not aggresive. Closed Positions Barbara and Allan Pease say that if two people want intimacy they will instead face each other. If someone wants to monopolize the conversation with someone, they will take this position. If the other person accepts the courtship signal, they will also orient their bodies at zero angle.
The Closed Position can also be used to issue a challenge between people who are hostile to each other. Only turning the heads towards someone signals that the newcomer is not very welcome. They will probably have tight lipped smiles as well. Seated Body Pointing When we are seated we can point our knees towards the person we are most interested in or towards the person we accept the most.
Feet serve the same purpose: we point our feet towards the person we find the most interesting. Courtship and Attraction Gestures The Definitive Book of Body Language quotes Albert Scheflen when he found out that when we meet someone from the opposite sex meet physiological changes take place that make us more youthful in appearance.
Attitude[ edit ] Human communication is extremely complex and one must look at the whole in order to make any determination as to the attitudes being expressed. Whilst there is a wider debate about the percentage share which should be attributed to each of the three contributing factors, it is generally agreed upon that body language plays a fundamental role in determining the attitude a person conveys.
A person may alter their body language in order to alter the attitude they convey; this may in turn influence the rapport they have with another person. For instance, if an interviewer adopts a formal attitude then this conveys a more business like impression, which may encourage the interviewee to give more serious answers. This may develop a more professional rapport overall between them. Alternatively, if the interviewer adopts an informal attitude, this conveys a more open and casual impression.
This may be used to elicit a more open response from the interviewee, encourage them to give more revealing answers, and potentially develop a more personal rapport. Universal vs. Where Darwin notes similarity in expression among animals and humans, the Cultural Equivalence Model notes similarity in expression across cultures in humans, even though they may be completely different. One of the strongest pieces of evidence that supports this model was a study conducted by Paul Ekman and Friesen , where members of a preliterate tribe in Papua New Guinea reliably recognized the facial expressions of individuals from the United States.
Culturally isolated and with no exposure to US media, there was no possibility of cross-cultural transmission to the Papuan tribesmen. Tracy and Robins concluded that the expression of pride includes an expanded posture of the body with the head tilted back, with a low-intensity face and a non-Duchenne smile raising the corner of the mouth.
The expression of shame includes the hiding of the face, either by turning it down or covering it with the hands.
Despite that, there have been certain areas where the conscious harnessing of body language — both in action and comprehension — have been useful. The use of body language has also seen an increase in application and use commercially, with large volumes of books and guides published designed to teach people how to be conscious of body language, and how to use it to benefit them in certain scenarios.
Body language has seen application in instructional teaching in areas such as second-language acquisition  and also to enhance the teaching of subjects like mathematics. A related use of body language is as a substitution to verbal language to people who lack the ability to use that, be it because of deafness or aphasia.
Body language has also been applied in the process of detecting deceit through micro-expressions, both in law enforcement and even in the world of poker. Therefore, body language would be very beneficial to be used in communication. Second-language acquisition[ edit ] The importance of body language in second-language acquisition was inspired by the fact that to successfully learn a language is to achieve discourse, strategic, and sociolinguistic competencies.
This is usually also highly culturally influenced.
The definitive book of body language
As such, a conscious ability to recognize and even perform this sort of body language is necessary to achieve fluency in a language beyond the discourse level. The importance of body language to verbal language use is the need to eliminate ambiguity and redundancy in comprehension. He calls this being not just bilingual but also 'bi-kinesic'. The idea behind using it is as a nonlinguistic input. This is usually paired off with other verbal methods of guiding the student, be it through confirmation checks or modified language use.
Tai  in his paper provides a list of three main characteristic of body language and how they influence teaching. The features are intuition, communication, and suggestion. The intuitive feature of body language used in teaching is the exemplification of the language, especially individual words, through the use of matching body language.
For example, when teaching about the word "cry", teachers can imitate a crying person. This enables a deeper impression which is able to lead to greater understanding of the particular word. A holistic environment is more productive for learning and the acquisition for new knowledge. The relevance of body language in this area can be seen in the numerous Federal Bureau of Investigation FBI Law Enforcement Bulletins   that have included it in their articles. The application of body language in law enforcement goes both ways.
Members of law enforcement can use body language to catch unspoken clues by suspects or even victims, this enables a more calculated and more comprehensive judgement of people.Here are some exciting skills and insights you will acquire after consuming the book a Since childhood, I've always fantasized having the superpower of mind reading and ever since being exposed to a diverse set of materials on body language I can assert that I've actually cultivated some skills in this vain :D :P.
Sideways-Looking-UP Smile With the head turned down and away while looking up with a tight-lipped smile.
Conscious body language
One hand on the hip is similar, especially if the elbow is pointed towards the person we are issuing the challenge to. Intimate gaze is used to show interest and those who are interested will return this gaze. The Secret Language of Your Body.
Talking in public settings such as bars or crowds, or in a car or plane also limits the tactics of taller speaking partners. The authors say that while the metrosexual male seem strange to many heterosexual men, their observations shows that metrosexuals fall in the categories of gay men, effeminate men and who realize that many traditional female behaviors are a great way to meet lots of women Robert Greene talks about it in his Dandies section of The Art of Seduction.
Introduced by Edward T.